This is not a simple question, even for those people that have a 5-year plan. I am 20 and I know I am young enough to have plenty of time to think about this stuff, but not really. I argue that it’s already too late for a lot of the things I could have potentially done with my life. Those are the roads not taken, the roads I will never look back to. 

Part of me knows that I will be a writer. I am not scared of my future or what will happen. I am just slightly nervous about right now. As I mentioned in my last blog, I am reading a sci-fi series full of adventure and activity. Something that my life may seriously be lacking. 

I realize that by reading this book about someone elses life, I am not living mine. It’s the same thing with any form of entertainment. But, then again, maybe that is our lives. 

Sometimes I just want to get up and walk through the grass to remember that I can. 

I don’t want to live my life through other people. I want to write stories that other people can live their lives through. I want to make you lose yourself and forget that the laundry needs to go in the dryer. Forget that the spaghetti sauce is sticking to the pan because you haven’t cleaned it. 

I just want people to realize that this is the life you have to live. I want to realize that. Sometimes I forget. 

I can officially sit with the geeks at the lunch table. (sort of speak)

I am currently delving into an eleven book series by Robert Jordan. The Wheel of Time series is a fantasy series similar to Lord of the Rings only arguable better. Granted, I am only on the second book, but I cannot get over how quick of a read it was. The first book is called The Eye of the World. I could not possibly begin to explain what the books are about without completely wrecking it for all of you who will rush out to read them. 

Robert Jordan passed away recently and gave strict instructions for book number 12. His wife and son have already hired someone to write the last book and his wife keeps his fans updated on his blog. 

As I am sure you all noticed I removed my Step Inside page. The page consisted of random writings from my journals. I have decided to take them and compile them into a small book. I want to send it out to see about getting it published. I want people to love or hate the things that I write. I don’t want them to be dismissed. 

My older brother recently came home and sat my family down. He told us that the human race would evolve into the fourth dimension in the year 2012. Yes, the Mayan calender ends in 2012 and many believe that an asteroid or something will hit Earth. These things are all possible. But, where does this come from. To use his words I would say, ” well basically this man was visited by a spirit who told him all of it.” okay, great. Then where do I go? Obvious answer, the Internet, and I research. 

• Wikipedia says something about 2012 being a great year of spiritual transformation, apocalyptic.  
• December 21 is the supposed date of the transfer of energy throughout Earth.
• A books titled, 2012: The return off Quetzalcoatl by Daniel Pinchbeck says that we will experience a global awakening to physic connections. 
• Terence McKenna’s numerological novelty theory suggests a point of singularity in which humankind will go through a great shift in consciousness

Now I am researching Magick and sigils and Aleister Crowley. 

  I would love to start a discussion about this because I don’t know much. 

So, I know everyone is like, ” oh great, another stupid college kid excited to go do drugs and hear some music.” But seriously, this will be my first time attending the Music Festival and I live only about an hour away. It is in Manchester, TN and it is one of the largest music festivals on the east coast. Do you want to know why I am excited? Okay, I’ll tell you. So check out the line-up ( according to my standards of course):

•  Cat Power ( hell yeah)
• Rilo Kiley (hell yeah)
• My Morning Jacket (Fuck yes ma’am I am ready)
• Death Cab for Cutie ( awesome)
• The (fucking) Allman Brothers Band
• (The fucking) B.B. King
• Willie Nelson ( yeah whatever, okay)
• Pearl Jam
• Sigur Ros
• Jack Johnson
• Vampire Weekend
• Tegan and Sara
• M.I.A.
• Iron and Wine
• O.A.R.
• Ben Folds

So of course, now you all want to go. I know. Come up with 300$ and I will see you there!

www.bonnaroo.com 

I went home a few weeks ago and was trying to shop around for a bookshelf and desk. My mom was helping me and we had no luck at all. Finally, she says, well let’s go look in the basement. What did we find? 

 ……

We saw the potential and got started. First we sanded the wood with a hand sander. Then we washed it with wet rags to get all the dust off. While the furniture was drying we took a trip to the hardware store and got 4 cans of green spray paint, and 2 cans of black. I chose a satin finish for both. Then we looked at actual hardware to replace the old gold ones. I chose a nice set of black knobs and handles. We got back home and began spray painting. We had to fill the holes in the bottom two drawers with wood filler and sand them smooth before painting them. 

 ……..

When it was time for the final touches, the handles and knobs, we had to re-drill holes because the handles I got were too small. Remember, we filled the holes and sanded them before painting? Well, that was so that we could re-drill the new holes without the old ones being an eye sore. After drilling the hole and running into a few minor screw problems, we were finished. I drove the furniture back to my house and now I have this to look at every day. 

…….……

Now, of course, when I am sitting at my new desk, I peak in the little crevices and under the shelves and I know every spot that we missed when we painted. Make sure you do wonderful even coats until all it covered.  

For inspiration to create your own bookshelf, refer back to my previous blog entry 

 and here.

• Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) Directed by Frank Capra 
  • The Political System: Capra basically says that the system works, it’s the bad people inside of the system that mess it up, and the common man can rescue us all. Jefferson Smith ( name referencing to Thomas Jefferson combined with Smith, the most common last name in America at the time) brings common sense to Washington D.C. The re-occurring theme throughout the movie is ‘one man vs. the system.’ The idea that certain individuals can change the system from within. 
  • The general public is viewed as easily manipulated. ( This is the same view that the founding fathers had.) 
  • The view of politicians is negative and highly cynical. The only exception is the vice president. Politicians compromise values to get things done. The idea that out of corruption can come good. 
  • Political Machines: PM’s ruin politics. Taylor is the PM in the town Smith comes from. They dominate political affairs of a region. (think the butcher from Gangs of New York.)
  • The Media: The media has a cynical view of politics and the system. The reporters are seen smoking and drinking constantly. They can be good, but used for bad by Taylor. 
  • Women are frivolous and glamorous. The only exception is Sanders, who is money hungry. 
• Casablanca (1942) Directed by Michael Curtiz
  • Characters as countries: Rick represents the U.S. He is always “picking the underdog.” Also mirrors our foreign policy at the time, “I won’t stick my neck out for nobody.” Renault represents France (unoccupied). He favors the side that is winning and the growing french resistance. Major  Strasser is Germany and he tells Renault (France) what to do. Italian Captain ” no one respects the Italians.” He is only in two scenes. Once in the airport where he is being ignored, and second entering the cafe where he is also being ignored. “…if he gets a word in it will be a major Italian victory.”
  • The political system: survival of the fittest. No democracy. Military Regime. Renault—> corruption. Gets pretty girls to sleep with him for Visas. Laszlo is arrested without charge. Basically, men with money and women providing sex benefit from corruption. The black market has more authority and is not obscure. 
  • individualism v. isolationism
    • Rick is central. In the end he sacrifices himself for Ilsa’s happiness. Parallel to U.S. isolationism. Renualt points out “that it is a wise foreign policy to not stick your neck out.”
    • Rick excuses himself with “no politics” policy. Signor Ferrari signifies entrance into war by saying rick should get involved. Renault joins Rick and the symbolic growing of American development emerges. 
  • Stereotypes: 
    • Sam- used for entertainment. His dialogue includes taking orders and saying “Yes Boss.” He is called, “Boy.” Signor Ferrari tries to buy him. 
    • Women: Ilsa- “you have to think for the both of us.” She is flaky. She loves Laszlo then rick, then laszlo, then rick and so on… She says, ” one woman hurt you and you take revenge on the world.” The Bulgarian woman ask Rick if she should sleep with Renault to get Visas for her and her young husband. 
• The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) Directed by Robert Wise
  • Science Fiction was used during this time to comment on International Relations without being accused of being a Communist. Atomic weapons parallel technology that people don’t understand. 
  • References the Orson Welles incident by saying, ” this is not another flying saucer scare.” 
  • Political System:
    • Democracy disappears entirely. The army takes over. No one seems to be troubled by this. The army is the first visual element around the space craft. No police or even the president shows up first. No politicians in the movie with the exception of one secretary that tried to get Klattu to talk to the President. Wise is trying to say that when we are scared we want authority. Politicians won’t get things done. Newspaper reads, ” Extra! Military in charge.”
    • Marshall Law has been imposed? We don’t see the President at all. 
  • Klattu as Christ figure:
    • He is an alien that comes from the sky. He takes the earth name Carpenter ( both Joseph and Jesus are carpenters), his message is peace, and gort brings him back from death. 
  • Leviathan:
    • Hobbes, English philosopher/writer published in 1651. Part 1- man originally existed in a state of nature (solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, short). Fighting against everyone. Part 2- civilizing and developing communities are common authority who serves the society. Power resides in absolute monarchy. 
    • Gort is absolute enforcer. There are no grey areas with him as there are in the army. He is closer to the Leviathan than the military. 
• Good Night & Good Luck(2005) Directed by George Clooney  
  • Edward R Murrow (the real man):
    • Made famous by “This…is London,” reports and earned American respect.
    • CBS gave his own TV show, ” See it Now.” The show was never profitable for CBS but it was a mile stone for investigative journalism.
    • Murrow took on McCarthy, which the President of the U.S. wouldn’t even do at the time.
    • Eventually dies of Lung Cancer in 1965. (it’s obvious why when you watch the movie.)
    • The show was eventually discontinued for business reasons. Murrow then gets appointed by JFK to head of U.S. Information Agency.
    • 1964- receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom
  • McCarthy:
    • Junior Senator of Wisconsin. Claimed to have 205 names of known communist working in U.S. state department. Later said it was only 57. Then we find out that it was really none. McCarthy never actually found a communist in the U.S. Government.
    • Dwight D. Eisenhower ( who wasn’t President at the time) refused to stand up to McCarthy when McCarthy accused one of Eisenhower’s friends of being a communist.
    • He was the most fear person in Washington and became the most powerful man there as well.
    • His most famous hearing were the Army- McCarthy hearings in which McCarthy accused the Army of being infiltrated by Communist. The famous quote in which another Senator ask him, ” Have you no decency Sir?”
    • Public distaste was already growing, and when the Army- McCarthy hearing were televised, it was ultimately his downfall.
    • Dies in 1957 of liver disease. He drank himself to death.
  • Accuracy:
    • Every clip showing McCarthy was an actually clip pasted into the rest of the film. This is one main reason the film had to be shot in black and white.
  • Power of the Press:
    • played an important political role for once!
    • seen as highly influencial on the American people. ( if only we had this sort of journalism around today.)
    • actually lives up to it’s “watchdog” role.
    • the power can be abused. They clip together many of McCarthy’s public speeches. When any individual speaks in public enough, you could piece together a very nasty looking tape. No matter who you are.
  • Reporters:
    •  
• Dr. Strangelove (or How I learned to stop worrying and love the atomic bomb) (1967) Directed by Stanley Kubrick 
• The Fog of War (2003) Directed by Errol Morris 
  • 
  • Quote - ” There’s a wonderful phrase: ‘ the fog of war.’ What ‘the fog of war’ means is: war is so complex it’s beyond the ability of the human mind to comprehend all the variables. Our judgement, our understanding, are not adequate. And we kill people unnecessarily.” 
  • When interviewed, McNamara was 85 years old. Yet, Morris conducted over 20 hours of interviews with him. McNamara created his own ten lessons that can be found online or on the DVD, but the eleven lessons in the movie were actually created by Morris. 
  • This film parallels Iraq in various areas. McNamara did not want to go into this because he said his remarks would be too inflammatory. 
  • The Accuracy: Obviously McNamara’s views will be slightly biased since he is talking about himself.The most controversial part of the film is when McNamara actually says that had the U.S. not won the war, he and Curtis LeMay would have been tried as war criminals.
  • ” In order to do good, you may have to engage in evil.” But, when do you know whether the results will ever amount to the struggle it took to get there. 
  • The Cuban Missile Crisis: McNamara says, ” We lucked out.” We came “this close” to nuclear war. 
  • Lessons: #1 “Empathize with your enemy.” #2 ” Rationality will not save us.” #3 ” There’s something beyond one’s self.” #4 ” Maximize Efficiency.” #5 ” Proportionality should be a guideline in war.” #6 “Get Data.”  #7 ” Belief and seeing are both often wrong.” #8 ” Be prepared to reexamine your reasoning.” #9 “In order to do good, you may have to engage in evil.” 
• Planet of the Apes (196 Directed by Franklin Schaffner 

I pull into the park where the speed limit is 15 mph. There is no way he can wreck in here. I park the car and keep it running, then I walk around the car to the passenger side as my little brother scoots into the driver’s seat. “That one is the brake and this is the gas. Put your foot on the brake  and put the car in reverse. Turn the wheel. Okay, now put it in drive and give it a little gas.” He pulls forward at 5 mph. ” Brake at the yield sign and look for cars, then turn left.” He was afraid he was going to hit the cars that were 10 ft away. Slowly but surely we travel to the next parking lot in the park and I keep directing him into and out of spaces. I try to get him to go out onto the road but he is not ready. We circle the park two more times and I can feel him get more comfortable with speed and turns. I tell him he has to get on the road, so he does. We pull up to the exit gate and he puts on his blinker. ” When you pull out, make sure you speed up to 30 mph because cars will come behind you.” He waited until he saw no other cars on the road at all, and then pulled out, sped up, and almost ran off the road. He straightened up and had to press the gas to get up the hill to our house. I think he was scared to go too fast because our hill turns at it progresses. ” Go ahead and put your blinker on early so the cars no your braking.” He did, and a minute later he took the turn into our driveway without hitting the plants around it. I was surprised and proud. My little brother is 16 and doesn’t even have his permit yet. He was scared, but when your big sister is with you it cannot be that bad. We survived and hopefully it will be a day that he doesn’t forget. I’m proud of him. 

My blue hostess dress that I found at Goodwill for $7.99. I may be slightly addicted to shopping, but how could I resist this dress with that price tag?

” Technically it is not necrophilia if the body is still warm “ - my little brother  ( ooooh I am so bad, i think I got this pic from V magazine. Maybe?)